transform like optimus prime

I officially only have THREE journals left to write! Which sounds like a lot, but earlier today I had SIX more to write. Which means that I wrote THREE today...which is why I took the day off. I also wrote a couple words on my novel, which felt great. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with every better from now on.

I also wrote a check for New Zealand which made me very nervous. I will send it to Coe tomorrow. Soon I must fill out the FAFSA.

So perhaps I will make a list of things to do tomorrow or other such upcoming days:

1. Fill out the FAFSA.
2. Finish journals.
3. Print manuscript and send it to see if I can get into the Iowa Poetry Workshop. Find out how much the workshop it.
4. Find out how to apply to work in the Writing Center over the summer. Which would make the workshop that much more a possibility. After New Zealand.
5. Figure out how much money I owe for New Zealand. I'm thinking $900 and if I'm correct, that would be grand.
6. Find a way to correct the driving situation.
7. Find a way to budget the rest of NYC so that I will have spending money in NZ.

Looking at that list makes me ill.

A little about the past few days, I suppose? Yesterday was Valentine's Day. John and I went to Urban Outfitters. We found this AMAZING leather jacket that had a woolen lining and it looked so good on him, I almost had to buy it. In the end, we both realized that we have no money and didn't get it. I also didn't get the record I wanted, the shirt I wanted, dress I wanted or awesome hat I wanted. He didn't get the shoes he wanted but probably will. This is getting boring to talk about so I'll talk about what we did next. Went to Barnes & Noble where he bought a book of poetry by Lorca and I parused the postcards. In the end, i didn't get any. Then we bought tickets for the movie Valentine's Day and went to eat at McDonalds where we decided to go Vegan. Now I am vegitarian and he's nothing. Surprise. The movie was good. The theatre was so big it had a mezzanine.

I can't remember what else I've been up to, which most likely means not much.

I'd like to work on another journal now. Until next time!

president's ball was last night

Last night was the best night of events yet! We got to watch a flamenco troupe perform and it was amazing. I want nothing more to take classes now.

Today John, Dylan and I ordered pizza. It will be my breakfast and lunch. Later I am going to HERE to see Too Little Too Late with Jeanne, a French exchange student and fellow intern.

I am excited!

unmarked location every night

I haven't been up to writing very much lately. It's as if the days are slipping by. I wake up early and then voila! It's 8 P.M. and I'm exhausted and ready to watch television and cuddle. It's almost as if I've been making excuses for so long that they've become real. I literally am too tired to write, or at least, too tired to think about what to write. I am usually very detailed in my entries, picking through the day to chose what was important and what wasn't. I need to get back into the swing of things.

Ultimately, I am hoping that as the weather changes, I will be more motivated. I don't remember the last time I sat in the sun or went for a walk that wasn't painful and stressful. I yearn to do that. To take a walk to Central Park with a blanket just to lie down, read and people watch.

Speaking of, we did some very intense people watching at the opera. We went to see Ariadne auf Noxos (I think that's how it's spelled) at Lincoln Center. If you've never seen the buildings you absolutely must. They are humongous theatres with perilously steep seating and grandiose chandeliers which probably cost more than my house in Baltimore. A piece. Parts of the opera were fantastic and parts of it were painfully boring. It is not what I would have chosen to see if I was handed a hundred and forty dollars and told to spend it on a ticket to the opera. However, I didn't get to chose therefore I had to suffer. My favorite part of the night was getting to wear my new dress, because after all, I am a woman living in Manhattan.

Today, we awoke early, went to Europan for breakfast, ate half there and half on the go. Took the 1 train and ran into Alan (our film professor and previous Coe student/New York Term kid himself). From there we went the rest of the way with him, transfering to the A to West 4 and popping up directly next to the IFC Center. We watched Shoot the Piano Player, directed by Francois Truffaut. I found it to be perfect for the snowy morning. Filmed in 1960 (which is now the correct date, thanks to John), black and white with crackly sound and English subtitles, the storyline was funny and heartbreaking all at once. I would very much like to go back next weekend to see the next film of the series which is also a Truffaut.

Tomorrow we are heading to the Ensemble Studio Theatre for the I Got Dumped! brunch, which is basically a food, open bar, and five short plays about being heartbroken, dumping, being dumped - all written, performed, directed etc. by EST's Youngblood playwright's. I'm not really sure what to expect. I am hoping that it's funny. I'm not in the mood to be disappointed by sadness. I also hope there are mimosas...

I'm thinking about little yellow canaries in golden cages and watching Dylan use the microwave, John work on a City Dionysus play, and Mitch do some journaling.

Also, I bought a guitar for myself online. I can't really afford it, but I've been wanting a new acoustic for awhile and found a cheap Jasmine online. Hopefully it'll come on Monday...all in one piece. I've started writing some music for FAWM, but I'm not sure I'll post any of it.

I wish I was at home, enjoying the snow and sun.

puppets

I've decided that I want to be a puppeteer. Or a robot conductor. (Conductor?)

Recap of the past two days in a nutshell:

- Julliard Jazz Ensemble above Central Park in the Time Warner Building.
- Emperor Jones at the SoHo Playhouse which is just around the corner from HERE. The puppetry was wonderful.
- Meeting with Jess and John for Starbucks and then heading back to her Fordham apartment. I've missed them so much. It's nice to have a little bit of home.
- At work now. Listening to Stacey (my boss) interview two other possible interns.
- I want muffins. Or black-bottom cupcakes. Which doesn't have anything to do with the last two days but I don't care.

After work I must order pizza for our music meeting with Murray. I already printed out my journal. Whew.

I suppose I will write more later. I do have quite a bit to talk about.

tough love

After going on a wonderful early morning movie date to Daybreakers, I was fortunate enough to spend the rest of the day wandering the Museum of Natural History. The Planetarium was worth every penny, even if it was just to hear Whoopi Goldberg talk about the galaxy and stars. It was an unbelievable display of projections and sounds that I can't imagine designing. Afterwards we went to eat at Shake'n'Bake (or whatever it's called...Shake Shack possibly). The french fries and shakes were delicious.

Side note: bagels are a daily food item. They are cheap and delicious. Also, pizza. That's all I have to say about that.

Tomorrow is my third day of work. It's tough. I mean - very tough. Speaking of which, I forgot to write about a phenomenal event.

On my very first day at HERE, I was standing outside on my first job. I was asked to spray paint the bottom of two large faux-grass mats black. This should have been easy, however I have no such luck. It was below 20 degrees outside, extremely windy and my spray painting area was right next to a construction site - therefore there was tons of flying gravel and dirt. So there I was, bent over two huge grassy mats, trying to hold down the edges so that they wouldn't fly away while attempting to spray paint. The paint went everywhere so I had to spray from close to the mat which meant that they whole process took longer. And then, of course, I wasn't allowed to go inside until it was completely dry as to not kill all of the dancers with fumes. Of course, neither of them were drying fast enough and I was turning into an icecicle.

Here's the wonderful part: I was standing there, holding one of the mats up in the air (I faced into the wind so that it would stick to my body) when a group of people walked by. None of them noticed me except for one. He was probably in his mid-20's and cute. I remember he was wearing a brown coat and grey beanie. He walked by, making eye contact with me. Thinking that he was judging me, I turned to make sure that he was moving on and low and behold - he was looking back. And then he was stopping, shifting around and then walking back. I can see myself now - my hair blowing all over the place, my hands covered in black paint and a giant grassy mat stuck to my legs.

"Excuse me, miss?" The cute man in the brown coat was just a few paces away.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Do you...do you need help with something?"

I couldn't believe my ears. Here was an attractice man NEW YORKER asking me if I needed help. I declined, telling him I was waiting for the mats to dry and he moved on.

I don't think I'll every forget the kindness he showed that day. It definitely made work at HERE that day a little better.

the tipping point

New Yorkers have attitudes. There's nothing surprising about that. (We all know that Yankees fans cause the most trouble at games.) However, it is still a bit shocking when the attitude is turned towards you. For example, you'll be in someones way and you'll get an earful or you can't figure out where to order your veggie wrap at the local cafe and you'll feel moronic when you're told what to do. It's like the attitude is everywhere. So, here's to hoping it becomes just one of those things. Like pigeons or traffic at the Columbus Circle subway terminal.

The first half of today was terrible - entirely because I wasn't feeling well. I could barely enjoy the Whitney as we got to explore two amazing exhibits, Roni Horn and Georgia O'Keeffe. Horn's portraits were fascinating but her sculptures were simply mind boggling. One was of what looked like a 4 foot by 4 foot ice cube (minus the ice). The top was clear and you could look inside of it to see the different layers. However, one of my favorite parts about the Whitney was that there were windows. This ice cube was placed next to one of them and it reflected the nearby buildings if you looked at it from an angle. My favorite room of Horn's exhibit was of photographs she had taken of the water of the Thames. On the photograph were placed tiny numbers which corresponded with notes which were written on the bottom. Example, "Water is sexy" and "Black water is not sexy."

The Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit was beautiful. Her use of color boggles my mind and it was awesome to see her first abstractions in charcoal. The portraits taken of her naked were beautiful...I didn't know she was so sexy! (I should have. Her work is sexy.)

After the Whitney, I took the bus back to the hotel where I napped until I felt better. I am very sad for John, who lost his metro card. Mitch found it, but not thinking it belonged to any of us, he tossed it. Sad faces all around. I'm hoping the purchase of a new one doesn't put a huge dent in John's budget! After being at the hotel, the two of us went to Cafe 71 for dinner and then head to the New York Guitar Festival where we got to watch two silent films whose music was played and improved live to us by two wonderful guitarists. I don't have the program in front of me so I can't recall their names, however, next Thursday Justin Vernon of Bon Iver will be doing the same for another silent film. Lucky ducks that get to see that one...

Tomorrow, I have another day at HERE and then I get the night free. Maybe I'll finally get the chance to go to The Strand to get some postcards and a photo for Mrs. Williams to prove that I went. Love to all and to all a good sleep.

two in the morning

It's been awhile since I last wrote, and I've missed you!

Let's take a brief moment to talk about the subway. It's beyond easy - if you're capable of reading numbers and letters while hundreds of people are running around and pushing you forward to somewhere you probably don't want to go. It's a constant state of thinking uptown, downtown, express. The most difficult thing is getting your legs and stomach to cooporate with your out-of-town heart when the train is swishing from side to side and everyone is taller than you so you can't see anything but the man's lapel in front of you. I quickly touched hands with an attractive suit today when we both frantically reached for the same bar as the C train lurched to a sudden stop - so I suppose that is a plus. If you are lacking in human contact, the subway is certainly the place to be. I digress.

Yesterday was my first day of work at HERE, and it was a long one full of tech, cleaning and office work. (All of which needed to be done.) I suppose I won't go into much detail because that would bore you, but do know that I'm trying my hardest to make a good impression and to not complain. I had to go straight to the theatre district from work to make it in time for Next to Normal the musical. Long story short I thought it was only sub-par, but everyone else thought it was great. I suppose it simply was not my cup of tea. Luckily for us, we got treated to food and cheesecake at Junior's, which was placed nicely next door to the Booth Theatre. After food was sleep and after sleep was work again today.

Today was a little different than yesterday. The morning seemed to fly by as I helped clean the tech closet and dimmer room, yet dragged on as I helped do necessary office work in the afternoon. If everyone else in the office didn't work as hard as they do (and they are constantly working) I would probably have a problem with cutting out 800 or so tickets - which is very tedious busy work. However, my co-workers are in the office from 10 in the morning until god-knows-when and I know they need every shred of help available.

Best case scenario is that they'd want me to stick around or would help me get a job after I graduate. Even working box office a couple of hours a night would be wonderful, I think.

New York is a strange place. You can easily have a love/hate relationship with it. Everyone says, "How can you be bored? There's so much to do!" but I found myself wandering around town with John looking for food after work, and not one of the restaurants were tempting. I suppose this is because - sometimes, not always - I have trouble with unfamiliar places...that I prefer to stick to what I know. Fortunately, The New Wave Cafe on 78th and Broadway has breakfast all day and is cheap - two things that I love.

After dinner we came home and I fell asleep around 6:30, entirely accidentally, and now here I am at 2 in the morning unable to go back to bed and listening to the hiss of the radiator. Tomorrow is Georgia O'Keeffe at the Whitney and the silent film/guitar improvisation.

I think I'll wake early and get breakfast at Cafe 71.

beach house

Today is technically Friday which means...NEW YORK TOMORROW.

Things I still need as today progresses: finish doing laundry so that I can finish packing my clothes, find the lint brush, find the umbrella and jacket in a packet, find appropriate shoes, go shopping for groceries, and sleep more. I definitely need to get my normal sleep pattern back. I don't know how I'll make it through the next week if I don't. (Point in case: it's past three in the morning right now and I'm barely tired. I suppose I should just make myself wake up very early so that I'll get tired sooner. Or whatever.)

Enough rambling for now. Onwards and (hopefully) upwards.