stand by your man

Haven't written in a long time because I've been super busy. At HERE I've made some good friends so going to work is a little easier. It started snowing today which is horrible. We went to the Met (for far too long) and by the time we got out, it was disgusting out. I mean, uberslush. We missed the first cross-town bus that came along and had to wait for the next one. When we got on that one, none of the traffic through the park was moving so we got off and decided to trek it through the park home. It was cold and very wet. Part way into the park we saw the first cross-town bus (the one we missed) completely sideways in the road and up on the curb and therefore holding up the traffic. Anyways, SO many people were walking through the park because traffic was so horrible.

It's supposed to snow until Saturday. I'm hoping for no work tomorrow so that I can finally sleep in.

cat whiskers and cookie paws

Went to see Fela! tonight on Broadway. Mick Jagger was there. In the audience.

That is all I have to say about that.

In other news, I wish it weren't so cold. Or that this trip was a fall thing because wandering around NYC right now is like running in giant wind tunnels. It's exhausted. And yes, I am writing this at 3 in the morning. That's what I get for napping I suppose.

Tomorrow we are heading to Astoria (Woohoo!) to the Museum of Moving Images. I'm not entirely sure what to expect, however our film teacher Alan is awesome. He used to go to Coe and actually went on the NY Term as well!

More news: I applied to work in the Writing Center over the summer. After New Zealand of course. This would mean free housing on campus and $1500 in my pocket. I'd have to buy food but after NY, I certainly know the way to save. I could easily walk to Hyvee on 1st Avenue. I could also get a job at one of the local restaurants or cafes! This is probably a pipe dream. I don't even have the job yet secured and am not sure I'll be the lucky consultant to get it. (I would DIE to write the Writing Center summer news letter!)

I suppose I should sleep.

transform like optimus prime

I officially only have THREE journals left to write! Which sounds like a lot, but earlier today I had SIX more to write. Which means that I wrote THREE today...which is why I took the day off. I also wrote a couple words on my novel, which felt great. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with every better from now on.

I also wrote a check for New Zealand which made me very nervous. I will send it to Coe tomorrow. Soon I must fill out the FAFSA.

So perhaps I will make a list of things to do tomorrow or other such upcoming days:

1. Fill out the FAFSA.
2. Finish journals.
3. Print manuscript and send it to see if I can get into the Iowa Poetry Workshop. Find out how much the workshop it.
4. Find out how to apply to work in the Writing Center over the summer. Which would make the workshop that much more a possibility. After New Zealand.
5. Figure out how much money I owe for New Zealand. I'm thinking $900 and if I'm correct, that would be grand.
6. Find a way to correct the driving situation.
7. Find a way to budget the rest of NYC so that I will have spending money in NZ.

Looking at that list makes me ill.

A little about the past few days, I suppose? Yesterday was Valentine's Day. John and I went to Urban Outfitters. We found this AMAZING leather jacket that had a woolen lining and it looked so good on him, I almost had to buy it. In the end, we both realized that we have no money and didn't get it. I also didn't get the record I wanted, the shirt I wanted, dress I wanted or awesome hat I wanted. He didn't get the shoes he wanted but probably will. This is getting boring to talk about so I'll talk about what we did next. Went to Barnes & Noble where he bought a book of poetry by Lorca and I parused the postcards. In the end, i didn't get any. Then we bought tickets for the movie Valentine's Day and went to eat at McDonalds where we decided to go Vegan. Now I am vegitarian and he's nothing. Surprise. The movie was good. The theatre was so big it had a mezzanine.

I can't remember what else I've been up to, which most likely means not much.

I'd like to work on another journal now. Until next time!

president's ball was last night

Last night was the best night of events yet! We got to watch a flamenco troupe perform and it was amazing. I want nothing more to take classes now.

Today John, Dylan and I ordered pizza. It will be my breakfast and lunch. Later I am going to HERE to see Too Little Too Late with Jeanne, a French exchange student and fellow intern.

I am excited!

smoky rolls down

I don't have much to say about the day. It snowed like it was supposed to and I barely got anything done. Just typed up one and a half journals. Which, I suppose, is one and a half more than I would have done on any other day.

Went to see Dear John and liked it as far as sappy romances go. John disliked it, which wasn't a surprise.

Stayed inside and watched the snow for the rest of the day. Until, that is, it got too dark to see.

Took a lot of pictures of nothing.

All-in-all, it was worth not going to work.

Tomorrow we head to another museum. Hopefully I am feeling well enough to enjoy it.

Now, to bed.

snowpocolyps

I almost forgot! Everyone is panicking about the snow that we're supposed to get overnight. I mean, flipping out about it. In fact, all of the public schools are already closed for tomorrow. And, on the 1 train tonight, John and I overheard a straight up fight between a native New Yorker and a guy from Cincinnati/Canada. In brief, New Yorker told quasi-Canadian to, "Go back to where [he] came from!" It was epic.

postcards from italy

It has officially been one month since we've moved to New York and I must say, it certainly doesn't feel like it. Some days it's as if we've been here forever. For example, when you're riding on the subway in major traffic at 9:30 in the morning and all you want is to not be touching several people or overhearing very loud music through everyone's headphones at once. Although, some days it feels like we just got here. For example, when you're wandering around Bowery lost and alone in the cold, without anywhere to go or anyone to see. You could wander and wander forever. Right now, I have the feeling we just got here.

I've been looking into other internships - most at literary agencies. I've been hoping to change internships for awhile. When I moved here and began working at HERE, I realized that it's not what I'm cut out for. So I figured why not give literature a go. I've only emailed one place thus far because everywhere else is looking for summer interns, which I'm just not capable of doing. Reasons why I can't intern over the summer: 1. too poor, 2. going to New Zealand, therefore making me more poor, 3. very very poor. New York City is ridiculously expensive. And by that, I mean every object of food costs 3 dollars more than it should. Which adds up and pisses me off.

I also looked into apartments, and let me tell you, the experience was mindblowing. The majority of apartments (the cheap ones in Brooklyn, even) were close to 1,000 dollars...for one bedroom or just a studio apartment. That means two people living in one bedroom would each pay 500 a month PLUS utilities. PLUS food and travel expenses. Literally everyone has two or more jobs to foot the bills. I don't know how people stand it or when they have free time to enjoy living in New York. I mean, why live in a city like this if you can't even go out into it because you're working all the time?

I've also been looking into grad schools here. I know for a fact that I cannot afford grad school, let alone school here in New York, however I'd like to keep my options open.

Living here makes me even more uncertain about the future. In fact, it makes the future seem impossible, painful and no-good.

Perhaps New Zealand will be the perfect opportunity to turn this pessimism into something more productive.

Today's news: Stayed in bed all day watching movies and such, until John went to work at Bowery Poetry Club and I took the movies back to the Redbox at Walgreens in Times Square. Afterwards I wandered around Houston and Bowery until John was off of work and then we came home to Europan for pizza. He paid because he owed me. He also bought me canolli, which was underpar but beyond sweet in thought. I really like that kid.

unmarked location every night

I haven't been up to writing very much lately. It's as if the days are slipping by. I wake up early and then voila! It's 8 P.M. and I'm exhausted and ready to watch television and cuddle. It's almost as if I've been making excuses for so long that they've become real. I literally am too tired to write, or at least, too tired to think about what to write. I am usually very detailed in my entries, picking through the day to chose what was important and what wasn't. I need to get back into the swing of things.

Ultimately, I am hoping that as the weather changes, I will be more motivated. I don't remember the last time I sat in the sun or went for a walk that wasn't painful and stressful. I yearn to do that. To take a walk to Central Park with a blanket just to lie down, read and people watch.

Speaking of, we did some very intense people watching at the opera. We went to see Ariadne auf Noxos (I think that's how it's spelled) at Lincoln Center. If you've never seen the buildings you absolutely must. They are humongous theatres with perilously steep seating and grandiose chandeliers which probably cost more than my house in Baltimore. A piece. Parts of the opera were fantastic and parts of it were painfully boring. It is not what I would have chosen to see if I was handed a hundred and forty dollars and told to spend it on a ticket to the opera. However, I didn't get to chose therefore I had to suffer. My favorite part of the night was getting to wear my new dress, because after all, I am a woman living in Manhattan.

Today, we awoke early, went to Europan for breakfast, ate half there and half on the go. Took the 1 train and ran into Alan (our film professor and previous Coe student/New York Term kid himself). From there we went the rest of the way with him, transfering to the A to West 4 and popping up directly next to the IFC Center. We watched Shoot the Piano Player, directed by Francois Truffaut. I found it to be perfect for the snowy morning. Filmed in 1960 (which is now the correct date, thanks to John), black and white with crackly sound and English subtitles, the storyline was funny and heartbreaking all at once. I would very much like to go back next weekend to see the next film of the series which is also a Truffaut.

Tomorrow we are heading to the Ensemble Studio Theatre for the I Got Dumped! brunch, which is basically a food, open bar, and five short plays about being heartbroken, dumping, being dumped - all written, performed, directed etc. by EST's Youngblood playwright's. I'm not really sure what to expect. I am hoping that it's funny. I'm not in the mood to be disappointed by sadness. I also hope there are mimosas...

I'm thinking about little yellow canaries in golden cages and watching Dylan use the microwave, John work on a City Dionysus play, and Mitch do some journaling.

Also, I bought a guitar for myself online. I can't really afford it, but I've been wanting a new acoustic for awhile and found a cheap Jasmine online. Hopefully it'll come on Monday...all in one piece. I've started writing some music for FAWM, but I'm not sure I'll post any of it.

I wish I was at home, enjoying the snow and sun.

what comes from this

Still not feeling quite myself.
Still in bed and it's 2:30.
Still haven't had anything to eat.
Still haven't finished my journals.
Still want to go home for a weekend.